The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
