yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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