Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
