Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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