This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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