He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
