the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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