Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
They are going to name an STD after you.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
