So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
