thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I need a hoe opinion
go on
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize