I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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