You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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