why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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