96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
