did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
