I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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