dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
