I wish I only lived at night.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
