The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
