I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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