did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
