He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize