she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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