Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
