In the future we'll all be gay
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
