Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
