Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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