Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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