when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
