TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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