quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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