I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
ttyl tear gas
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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