OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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