Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
