**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
