My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
