i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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