You smell like stripper and shame
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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