So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
