Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
