Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
