im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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