the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
