so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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