Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
