I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i've created a new STD.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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