Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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