this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
