let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
