neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
you made out with another girl for some wings
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
