i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
