i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Text me some of your sweat
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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