I smell stomach acid.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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