I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
