Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry firstypretzels hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?

Fav 21 6647 1118
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.

(513): View more from Ohio

and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.

Fav 21 5832 1388
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen

Fav 9 2535 1220
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?

Fav 0 389 590
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth

(201): View more from New Jersey

but he had pizza... so i win

(973): View more from New Jersey

I give up.

Fav 0 46 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT