I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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