The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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