Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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