im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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