he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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