your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
