I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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